MeiYah’s Sweet Nothings

I am but a HopeFOOL one….. A Brokenhearted FOOL… A FOOL in Love… I am nothing but a FOOL!

You make me feel like one… I know you’re laughing your heart out now…. coz I’ve been trapped into your bait…. I listened to my heart and this is what happened…. I shouldn’t have listened to it… I should’ve not hoped that somehow, I still have a tiny little bit of place in your heart… I shoul’ve listened to what my thoughts’ conclusions about you…. but this stupid heart of mine couldn’t just accept and stand a second to those conclusions… and so it created it’s own world… a world where YOU and ME just exists… Unfortunately that dream vanished… and so are you…. It HURTS like HELL! I wanted to curse you! I wanted to punch, kick you! Shout at your face on how an A**HOLE you are! but this stupid heart of mine stopped me…. INSANE! Yeah, I know….

I think the only reason why you came into my life is juts to HURT ME… You’ve hurt me once and I should have learned from that experience… instead I let myself went into the same situation again…. I thought I was over with you…. then you came into my life again…. The emotions that I thought had been gone was awaken… It was just there all along, resting inside… Then, I let myself fall into your TRAP and CRAP again… I should not have listened to what my heart’s been shouting… I should’ve listened t my mind instead of my heart but I cannpt undo what had already happened…. You’ve Broken my HEART again, into bits and pieces… that I don’t know where to start picking up those pieces and bring it back to what it used to be…. The Hurt that I’ve been feeling now is twice or thrice as much as the first time you’ve hurt me…

I’ve cried every now and then just thinking about it… about you… I know how silly and stupid I am to have had believed that somehow you still have feelings for me…

I just wished I haven’t met you… I wished that I didn’t went to that job interview on that day so that there’s really no chance for us to have meet… I shouldn’t have met you that day… I shouldn’t be suffering in pain now… How I just wish!

At first you were so kind, so sweet and thoughtful that I have FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU… yeah… Accidentally! But things changed, you became cold and arrogant… and I’ve felt that I don’t know you anymore… or that was just the real you? That the thngs you’ve showed me at first were just one of your tactics… or I dunno… I can’t tell since you weren’t telling me anything…

I thought you said you Love me…. and what a FOOL I am to have believed that, with your sweet words and actions… you’re thoughtfulness and all…. If I could just turn back time to the day before I met you, I would! and I would change it so I could have not met you!

You just don’t know how much it HURTS… I’ve treated you well but this is what I got in return…. I wanted to HATE YOU! I really wanted to but WHY can’t I?? WHY???

In my ususal day, I tried to smile to cover up the emptiness and pain, I tried to laugh even if I was hurting inside… I’ve tried to be strong infront of everyone else but in the middle of the night when I am just alone, I cried… just cry and cry… cry my heat out til I had no more tears to cry on… You were so MEAN… the Meanest person I ever met… (that was my mind but my heart says you’re not, mabuang nako…) How could you do that to me?? I befriended you even if it’s painful I still do want you to be my friend…  Then I tried not to talk to you and don’t communicate so that I can finally move on and get over you… Then out of the blue, you came again…. you’ll talk to me as if nothing’s happened…. and now that I’ve slowly moced on you came back again….and you came back again just to hurt me once again…. how cruel of you…. I just wish I can tell this all to you but I can’t… you’re creating a barrier again…. Are you HAPPY with what you’re doing? If so I just hope your conscience will knock you down….

Is that what you just see in me?? A kind of game where if you get tired of playing you just stop and walk out without even saying anything? Am I just one of the games you were playing?? How dumb of me to have asked this questions when I think I already knew the answers… but I just can’t accept it…. coz IT HURTS so much! WHy?? How I wish you would also feel what I’ve been feeling now… I just hope you’ll realize what have you done… I hope someday you’ll realize it… so that you couldn’t hurt anyone the same way you’ve hurt me… 

I am trying to move on now…. I wanted this madness to end…. I don’t want you coming into my life again just like you used to… you juts do that whenever you feel like doing.. hay…. How I wish….. I want you out of my life! out of my system! I don’t wnt you to come into my life again and just ruin things… just like you used to…. is that a habit if yours already?

I WANT TO FORGET YOU NA! EVRYTHING ABOUT YOU!! GOD… HELP ME….. Help me move one…...

I Promise – Stephanie Conejos

Verse 1:
You always say that you love me
But there are times you wanna make me cry
I just try to understand you just because I don’t wanna start a fight
You know it’s you
You didn’t care
But then I still believe it’s not the end
Though my heart have thoughts of you
I just take it for granted

Refrain:
Now you’re gone there’s nothing I can do
And I don’t know what I’m going through
My world is empty now it’s just because of you

Chorus:
I promise I will never love again
No matter what will happen I’m just standing still
Even though I love you so I just want you to know
This time I promise you can never fool me anymore
I don’t wanna cry but sometimes I remember those passing time
So how can I forget your love and your memories
But the words that I promise will always stay in my dreams

Verse 2:
They say we need to love and care
But I don’t believe ‘coz it’s only a game
God only knows why I’m doing this thing
It’s just because I wanna be free again
And every time I see you I just try to smile
Pretending I’m alright even if it’s not
Because I wanna show you what is in my heart
To show that I can live even without your love
Repeat refrain
Repeat chorus

Bridge:
You’re the one who understands me
You didn’t even think what’s right for me
You could show me how to wait and cry
My world is empty now it’s just because of you
I don’t wanna cry… 

Yeah… I don’t wanna cry anymore (with someone who is an A**HOLE! A person not worthy of anything!)...but this tears won’t just stop from flowing… I really hate myself for letting you do this to me! And I hate that after all you’ve done to me I still can’t HATE YOU, I wanted to hate you so that it could empower the LOVE I was feeling for you… If this is really love I am feeling or just STUPIDITY! I wanted this to end… I wanna move on…. please let me move on….

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Lots of people want to ride with you into the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus wth you when the limo breaks down. Oprah Winfrey

Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilidge. Use it. Dwell in possibility. Oprah Winfrey